The things people say...

I can say quite honestly that its been one of those days when holding my tongue and refraining from letting rip at the audacity of others has not been easy, but I have done my best to remain calm and polite.

It started this morning while pottering with the garden and a brief chat with one of my neighbors.
A former London resident I asked her if she knew the name of a  woman who does a lot of good work with young people with challenging behavior who is fairly well known for her endeavors to raise awareness not only of the challenges these young people face but .her success in helping many of them to turn thier lives around.
The person I was talking to knew who I was talking about , but like me couldn't remember her name.
However what surprised me, was how she some how managed to turn the conversation round from the good work the woman in question done, into a racist issue.
"she's not all she seems you know she said, she's doesn't do much for our kid's" immediately my heckles went up... ( who our kids were was obvious, given that the person I was conversing with is childless and mine ( now,r no longer kids to anyone but me) have never been London residents, so I had an inclination of where the conversation was heading. Believe me it gets better..
 " she's all for the blacks and the poles & foreign kids but shes racist towards the while kids" say's she,
mmm... says I( incidentally the woman whose name always escapes me just happens to be, I think Jamaican or Nigerian, In not sure of her cultural background , she's black ( well dark brown really) I can't say her co-lour is relevant to the good work she does, she could be rainbow colored for all I care, she's does good stuff for young folks, that all I need to know... anyway... " well I can't say that's been my impression in the programmes I'v seen, were she been  taking part, talking about the work she's done, indeed , all the kids in one of the programmes I watched spoke very highly of her"... says I...
 and although I stopped myself saying it , I thought... I know many children born and raised in Britain who come from various national backgrounds, Polish , Indian, Egyptian, Irish Chinese ,Jamaican & other... and frankly there skin tones cover a wide variety of shades that have little baring on their personalities, although sadly they may have found that as a result of racism such as the individual I was talking to was reflecting  often resulted in having a negative impact on them resulting from social issues induced by racist behaviors of others.
The conversation continued ...and somehow went from the woman I had asked about to immigration, and how some doctors can't even speak English or indeed write a prescription in English, don't ask how it got from there to there, cos it escapes me, I was already somewhat gob smacked by where I could see the conversation was going... there was some mention in the in-between where the person I was talking to explained how when we go to their countries we have to live by their laws but that's not how it is here... indeed there was even mention about how some woman had been sexually abused and raped & murdered and when "they" who ever they were & where every that was, got the the rapist murderer, then threw him into the hole they had dug for the girl who had been raped and murdered coffin first....( she laughed ,tittled sorry she says , I'd do the same myself" says she
"REALLY"  ? say's I " hypothetically , don't think I'd be too happy about being buried with the man who raped and murdered me.... cos, well frankly, in the here ever after, would you want to be sharing it with the corps of your rapist murderer?" at this point I can feel the loop and swoop in my gut , but remain smiling ish, and friendly/naighborly like...
"well anyway" say's she , I nearly died because of foreign doctor's who couldn't speak English an' mucked up my medication when writing the prescription...
" that is dreadful" says I.
Thinking..., once again holding my tongue and refraining from comment that may cause upset of offense...
that to the best of my knowledge and experience within the care sector over the last 8years( which is within the time period that she previously told me her live threatening ordeal occurred) any prescriptions I had for myself or collected from surgeries for those whom were in my care via my occupation, were typed into the computer and printed.
Nor is it to say the medication prescribed for the treatment of alcoholism, or the related conditions that had deemed her in need of the prescription for her condition which in itself is 1st,  an addiction,  that some might say is an addiction treatable by choice, ( in as much as when someone is addicted to a level that requires medical treatment, they have generally been abusing the substance for some time before, and should be aware of the warning signs that impact on different areas of our health and well being, sure the addiction may be a result of social, emotion  or other issues that impact on us, but generally doctors irrespective of their nationality, will have picked up on that and given advice on the dangers of alcohol consumption and addiction, and then of course, there's plenty of magazine and documentary tv progrmmes on the subject , fuck even soap operas have covered the issue, so as an intelligent woman , which I presume she is, when it has reached a point where her liver & other organs are so badly damage that a reaction to a medically prescribed substance occurs,it could be any prescription, that causes the reaction as a result of her condition not the medication, then surely its not the doctor to blame but indeed she should look to herself and her own failure to control our drinking habits... and heed the advice given to treat her addiction.
Personally, sure I sympathize with my neighbor and her past( possibly ongoing) battle with alcohol addiction, which I am glad to say she has beaten,( thus far and I hope continues to) however I find it unreasonable for her to blame foreign doctors for her almost dying , had she not put herself in harms way by abusing the substance ( alcohol) to the point where she was an addict and so ill her live was threatened by her addiction and her organs going into failure , she would not have been in a position where these doctors were trying to save her.
 ANYWAY... moving on ...
The day continued in a negative vain, when I dropped my grandson home to my stressed daughter who had moved house yesterday.
Grandson was not at his best last night...  temper tantrums etc at not getting his own way, and undoubtedly, impacted with mums stress at the upheaval of house move one of the top ten issues listed as a contributor to stress.
 BUT, getting shouted at...temper tantrums... i'v raised 3 kids, I 'm used to it, I give him a wee bit time and space in the room alone , he calms down all is well cuddle hugs friends ... settled , end of episode.

So, today...I wasn't two minutes in her door before I got shouted at for not being able to find his mobile phone , which wasn't in the box or bag that got dropped off with him yesterday.... this was indeed an extended rollicking from last night regarding the same subject, where the volume and ranting from my dear daughter was so bad down the phone it was uncomprehending and I hung up ... cos frankly I can do without the bollocks and bullshit, understanding fully she is stressed, but I don' see any reason why I should be subjected to verbal abuse purely and simply cos she is stressed and I'm the only one she gets away with screaming at...  I too,being human have a thresh hold of how much verbal abuse I can reasonable take , not least forgetting, I do have issues with depression and by-polar, which I try very hard to keep under control and not upset others by letting them know when I am at a low point.... not easy but I manage this quite well I think... I have  too... cos frankly it feels like sometimes my feelings are irrelevant to my family who certainly appear to not give a flying fuck about how their verbal abuse or other negative behaviors impact on my health... but that's fine... cos I'm the mum, so I cope...ish... and if I don't well that'll be my fault too no doubt...
Anyway... I was told to just go.... so I did... ( that'll have been the woop from the loop & swoop completing the big knott  in my gut)
I had planned to give her a hand organizing the boxes , i know how daunting that can be... but by then , frankly I was happy to leave ... cos I know well enough what my daughter is like when is the frame of mind she was in today... she too suffers depression, ( though she is in denial that she's depressed ) still she keeps taking the meds.. which I can clearly see are doing her the world of good... (knott)
and I'm sure the couple or 4 bottles of beer and whatever more else that she had after the flitting yesterday, and shouting at me last night on the phone, have done wonders to help her relax and chill after her busy week working, and preparing for the move and cleaning of the new house, which of course, I did nothing to help her with and just sat about on my lazy arse and let her get on with alone, cleaning carpets, skirtingboards , and doors, kitchen cupoards, sink and cooker and whatever else all by herself cos I am a right auld selfish bastard that way...
Still tomorrows another day, and for me, it can't get much worse...
Happy days.....